God Is So Good! (long post)

It’s amazing that I wake up this morning, after many, many days without getting in God’s Word and He clearly reveals things to me. He urged me this morning to check my “Proverbs 31 ministries” daily devotion, so I did just that.

As I opened the email I saw the title “Do You Have a Dream?” I thought that was interesting so I read on. This daily devotion was Lysa TerKeurst (Who I actually heard speak in December of 2007) and boy did this wake me up. It just so happens that when I heard Lysa speak at our 2007 Ladies Brunch, I felt a heavy heart from the Lord, showing me what he wanted me to do as a wife and mother (I was 9mnths pregnant at the time). During that time I remember the Lord revealing to me that when my sweet little girl arrived that he had a different plan for me instead of teaching at that time in my life. I remember feeling deep in my heart that he wanted to me to first be a good wife and mom, staying home as much as I could, and also to be involved in some sort of ministry at church, by membership or leadership (I wasn’t sure). I tucked this away in my heart and kept trucking through a few more months. During that time I gave birth to our daughter, Kamryn, in January and spent the first few months home with her getting used to mommy hood. During this time home with her I continued to feel that God wanted me home with her. I struggled every day because I knew there was no way that I could do it. There was no way that we could afford for me to quit teaching and stay home. There were many days that I would just stand over her crib watching her sleep and just cry, because I could not imagine not being home with her to witness the many things she would be doing in the months to come. I continued to pray and pray and seek God’s guidance. I never shared with anyone what God had laid on my heart in December, I just figured that it wasn’t going to work out. I continued to pray, and cry, and pray and cry. A few months later Spring Break was over and I had to return to teaching to finish out the last month and a half of school. I promise you, I thought I was going to die. Leaving our little girl for work was one of the hardest things I have ever done (and I was blessed to have family watching her the whole time). During these last few weeks of work I still felt that God was calling me home. I did not know how it was going to work out, but I just knew that I would not be setting up a classroom the next school year. I continued to pray and share with the people around me how I longed to be at home with our sweet baby.

One day out of the blue, my sweet mother-in-law called in excitement. Someone at work came up to her and asked if I would want to work part-time with an Early Childhood grant. Immediately I could start to see God’s plan unfolding. Wow, this came out of nowhere. They needed someone with early childhood teaching experience to work part time and I could even do some of it from home! I remember crying at some point because I could see how God just totally threw this in my lap. Well, I met with my principal, turned in my letter for a leave of absence and cleaned my classroom out. I was going to be a home with my baby!

Fast forward three years. Another school year is about to begin and I am still not setting up a classroom! The Lord has blessed me with another year of working part-time and being at home with my babies. Yes, two babies. During this time home, I have been able to raise our sweet two-year-old and we welcomed her little brother, Bryson, just this past year. Wow, God is so good!

Now, I sit here today looking back at all that God has done. I am remembering that moment at the Woman’s Brunch as He laid such a heavy thing on my heart. It the last couple of months He has been tugging on my heart about the second part of that calling – to be a part of some type of ministry at church - to invest in the lives of others, especially during this time that he has given me at home. He has given me time to be at home with my children as well as more time to spend with my church family. What is it that He is calling me to do? Last night I heard an amazing word from God through Pastor Kirby. Part of his message was “What are we going to do with the church?” I could feel God tugging at me again. How am I ministering in the church? How am I investing in the lives of those people around me?

I believe I am starting see what that second part of the calling is. It’s just to be a good wife and mother and share in that experience with ladies in the church. To be there, either by being a part of bible study, leading a bible study, praying with another lady, or talking with another lady about life. God has urged me just to be real. To let others see that I struggle on a daily basis. That it is hard being a wife, mom, daughter and sister. He wants me to share in experiences with other women. I’m not sure what exactly this is going to look like as a ministry, but I am continuing to pray that God will show me how he wants me to do this.

My prayer today is that I will continue to seek God’s plan for my life. He has brought me through so much and provided a way. If I will just trust Him, he will show me what needs to be done!